August 12, 2018 (A Big Ask)
The past few weeks I've felt an outpouring of love from friends and family. Thank you thank you thank you to every person who shared a wave, a beer, camping equipment, expertise, energy, tools and more. My gratitude for your kindness is endless. I hope you like snail mail.
The last time I felt like I was standing at the bottom of a waterfall of overwhelming good feelings might have been when I finished college. I remember wanting to inquire about life and what comes next with every person that told me "congratulations". I wanted to ask them about what was next for me even though I knew they didn't know. Even though none of us ever knows. Reassurance just feels nice when you’re nervous.
This time, I’m not nervous about much, which tells me I've grown up a little since 2010. I’m not nervous about finding the women I need to talk to — you helped me realize we will find each other. I’m not nervous about planning the route in too much detail — you helped me realize it will be an organic process as I fruitlessly tried to plan every detail over the next three months.
Yesterday was the first day of the trip which began in the most perfect way: surfing with friends. We paddled out in 80-degree water and we wore bathing suits without wetsuits and I wasn’t uncomfortable like I normally am surfing in a bikini. We laughed and caught the occasional good wave — but mostly we just laughed.
Last night I slept on a bright blue couch surrounded by bicycles in North Hollywood thanks to my dear friends Monique and Avital. Monique and I did what we normally do — talked about racism, resilience, justice, personal values in entrepreneurship and other light-hearted topics. (Interview coming soon.)
This morning, I met Tracie at the Venice skate park where she shreds in her skatechair "Cookie Crumble". (This interview also coming soon.)
Both women are fiercely resilient and to my minor disdain, neither recognizes that in themselves. They’re not trying to be badasses -- they're trying to find what brings them and others around them joy.
Today is the first day I truly understand the magnitude of what I’m asking women to share with me. I’m asking for vulnerability and honesty and rawness, and they’re meeting me in a place that probably feels uncomfortable. (I cry in public frequently so that’s not really something I identify with, but I still have understanding about it.)
Recognizing the weight of my ask makes me even more determined to share the glimpses I get into who they are with integrity and soulfulness.
I promise to do you justice, ladies. Thanks for giving me the chance.